| i will rejoice |
[10 Jun 2009|04:03pm] |
the day i'm finally fucking done with college
and can afford to eat things other than ramen and grilled cheese.
oh and pizza when i'm feelin fancy
efffff my life right now
wish i had saved up monies for summer classes
but that shit don't work when you got them bills to pay
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| the truth is |
[19 Jan 2009|12:50pm] |
that i don't miss you.
i have a beautiful life.
i have a beautiful family and surrogate family.
things are hard and the times are rough but were still young
and for the most part very very happy.
and for once
in my life
i am confident and have faith in the things that i am doing.
i wonder how most of them are now. then wheni find out its susually that theyre the same and that nothings changed
but even that is ok.
i want some kim chee or lo mein
deuces
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| so i thought |
[22 Sep 2008|01:47pm] |
that i'd finally be able to delete this shit
but a week later i find out that i have to do an event timeline of the last five years of my life for class
and since the last five years were horribly drug influenced
and this is the only thing i actually made a point to update on a regular basis in those five years
i guess i'm keepin it around till the end of the semester
whoo hoo
(ahnot)
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| yo |
[09 Jul 2008|07:33pm] |
uhm
any plans this weekend?
i havn't been to denton in like six months.
maybe its about time.
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| take a ride on an aliens spaceship |
[02 Jun 2007|09:38am] |
uhm vegas is totally completly bizare
two of my best friends from second grade are like gonna get married soon
AND
they are naming their first born after me if its a girl
i was completely floored by this news
why would you wanna curse your child like that
whatev
i'll totally snmoke and get drunk witha kid named after me
i saw a cirque show last night
it was truly the most beautiful thing that ive seen since like italy
i was blown away
its not everyday that you see shit like that
were going to the lake today
the shitty ass lake that like you ouldn't swim in when i was a kid cause it had rocket fuel in the water somehow
my grandpa and uncle are like about to die
its so weird to be close to someone on the verge of death
i can hear it in their voices
fuck that part makes me wish i hadn't come down here
fuck
i just wanna ebe home
in dantes arms with little schlomo watching discovery channel and all that wonderful bull
iexcept i'll get ohme and i'm sure dante and i will e fighting in like five minutes
shit time to go
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[22 Mar 2007|06:27pm] |
wow guys.
life got really good there for a while.
and then just as quickly as it happned it turned itself back into shit
i'm not gonna whine or bitch but i just wanna say i didn't see it cominoutt left field n shit
i'm at my dads
sometimes i forget how much he loves me
it is nice to know that no matter how much i fuck up i can come home and just cry on him
i told him today that i thought i was gonna have to get a proffesiuon cause this thing where people fire me is killin me.
he said good go to college hen fire people so they can't fire you
and that is what its all about isn't it
not that i know what life is about
or love
or anything else
and fuck people that pretend like they do
and fuck livejournal for making me realize how dismal my life really is
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[07 Nov 2006|01:47pm] |
keep it real
and get a good boyfriend
dante
peace
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[14 Sep 2006|06:28pm] |
oh god
life has been so fucking weird lately its not even funny
uhm basically q hates dante and i now (like always)
schlomo is gone
dante ordered another fat tail gecko the other night
it makes me depressed cause i want my leopard geco back
hes a fuckin backstabbin baby
weve been talkiing about moving and stuff
i think my dad is gonna buy me a car soon, hopefully
raymond said that hed sell me his corolla for like 2500
not bad since its pimped out and got a system
my dad just put money in my accuont
i'm trying to not go shopping
or shoplifting
but sometimes you can only choose one and its usually the cheap one
i have alot of tests i have to study for
but i'mstrangely excited
and uh my music appreciation teacher looks like david bowie
if you know me
at all
you know what that means
...
it neednt' be said
but on the other hand i like big mexican boys
i wanna hang out with keely sometime
uhhh i'm gonna go paint my nails
and then most likely go hit up Ross
or nordstrom rack
i should call anita
uuuuuyhhhh
i wanna black pencil skirt
and my sewing machine back
and some Magnetism by Escada cause apparently i'm a fucking label whore now
damn
i wanna new pair of heels too
shit i gotta go soon
i think i'l just go shop by myself
for once ther is enough gas and i have money
OH SHIT
i forgot the best part till sarah just immed me
BIG NEWS
I THINK I AM GONNA QUIT DRUGS FOR A WHILE
AND BIRTH CONTROL
and sell some of my eggs so i can make like eight hundred dollars
cause i don't want babies anyway
shit i have the number in my purse
gotta go
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| no idea why i'm awake right now, i don't have school |
[13 Sep 2006|07:05am] |
i wish this would have happened yesterday
i skipped shool and felt like a piece of shit
that was horrible
i know its all depression cause some days i wake up fine
i hsould have a car soon
hopefuly everyone up there will like look down on me and give that a kick in the ass
anitas gonna help me get it
i talked to dante for like two seconds about moving away
he wasn't happy
havn't even mentioned it to my father
i'm sure hell be damn glad to hear it
i wanna go to austin
badddddd
guys
like i'm finally serious about school and shit
after so long
even though i have no idea what to do
that is upsetting
i almost wanna help kids like i was, or with mental disabilities and shit
hte problem wiht bing a case worker like that is there ain't no money and you havve to see through the kids bullshit thats being fed to them by their parents
i have a hard time seeing through every type of bullshit, if you cant tell
i still need pictures
i'm makin a cd for toni and guy
i really like my job and the people i work with
i think they like me
maybe today i'll get to listen to like the nerves and tiger army and block party and muddy waters instead of that shit they put on
stilll need pis of jeffie
this is gonna be my last weekend to hang out
so call me k?
i'm gonna try and get my car to
my dad said hes just gonna put 1500 in my bank account and let me go find a car lot on lancaster an pick that shit out
and imma play so nice its not funny
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[14 Aug 2006|09:14am] |
;ost my job at dillards
over a bottle of water
that some stupid bitch didn't ring up on the register
they fired me
not her
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[08 Aug 2006|01:29pm] |
so...
today i had a realization
or an epiphany
whatever you wanna call it
and i was thinking
that i'm going to be going to school with dante
and working iwith dante
and dante will be helping me pay for my car
and all this shit
and i started freaking out
cause like it seems like its just too much shit to handle
especially all by myself
then i realized that the only thing that i'm really afraid of is commiting
cause even though i've been with him for almost four years
i havn't had to make a commitment
and now
i'm planning on it
and for some reason it scared me
but now that i've though about it i'm ready cause that is who i wanna spend my life with
and i'm ready to start my life
so why not start it now with someone i love and that i know loves me?
someone i know is loyal and trustowrthy and hardworkin (once you give him a bit of a kick in the ass)
so why not?
i'm fuckin ready man, bring it on
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[02 Jul 2006|10:49am] |
dante read my shit got pissed then tried to block me
so i'm making it friends only
which is something i should have done forever ago
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| taper jean girl |
[21 May 2006|11:37pm] |
tomorrow is my birfday
i'm getting a tattoo
i'm so tired of all my shitty friends
i almost want to move out, badly
back into my dad's or someshit.
nrh is so depressing
i wish people weren't so fucking stupid
its like no one cares at all anymore
and it is scaring me and ithink i want out
but then again i know i can handle myself as long as i got some kinda school or job
why does no one else care about those two things?
stevo gets paid a shitload to go to school every month and all he does is waste it on drugs
i'd go to fucking tcc for the rest of my life and leaarn to weld and paint and blow glass and speak spanish
fuck stupid boys
dante thinks he might get into childcare
wihch makes me glad
and i wanna work at toni and guy
get a second job
pay off my shit
i miss you all so fucking much
specially theywuh and britnaynay
no one reads this do they?
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[16 May 2006|01:11pm] |
i've decided that the world is never going to be right
i keep trying and trying and it seems like its all so futile
i have constant chills running up my back all the time.
it makes it hard to work and hard to think and harder to love
i see all my boys i love so much
and find myself wondering when the next ones gonna leave
and everyones changed
sometimes its like i'm stuck in a world full of strangers
dante is so depressed
i cna't even save him
my heart is so broken guys
it just hurts so much
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[12 May 2006|01:08pm] |
i'm sick to my stomach
i have to go to work
i keep getting fucked up
i'm not taking classses in the summer
i fucked up in spanish
i'm so tired
i just want to see all my girls so bad
being around the boys is throwin me into a deep depressive hole
there are too many drugs around
i'm so tired
i just wanna sleep for a milllion years
i miss you all so much
so so so much
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| stop making your eyes at me, i'll stop making my eyes at you. what really suprises me is i'm not sur |
[29 Apr 2006|02:36pm] |
so theres seriously something wrong with the world
like its gone upside down or something
justin and josh can suck a dick
i'm tired of worrying about them, tired of being lied to
and tired of them acting like i'm an idiot
go do whatever the fuck you wanna do man, i don't care if you die, cause i can't care
everyone i know is almost outta highschool
and moving away or getting jobs
dude this is fucked up
this time wasn't ever supposed to be here
i can't tell you how scared i am
prom has come and gone already
its been a month almost?
and i'll be going to school all day in the summer
i don't know why i'm doing it
i think its so i don't go crazy
then full time again in fall
i better get my degree sooner than later
shit i'll be 18 soon
anyone up for frisbee golf on drugs
and glowstick
s
yeah
i think i am
this sucks
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| uhhh mmmkay |
[26 Apr 2006|01:12pm] |
sooooooo
fuck
i have nothing to say
cept i hat emy livejournal
and i think its stupid
why do i still do this
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[16 Apr 2006|02:15pm] |
hey
you know what fucking rocks about my life?
how about everyone has a better job than me
they get to work in a badass salon and get their hair done
or work for their dads
which means they
a)get free haircuts and dyes
b)don't ever get fired cause its their dads office
...or some of you don't have to work at all
you fuckiiiiiiiiing lucky bitches
sometimes i hate my life
cause i'm going to a fucking community college
and living with my boyfriends family
but wait mine is fucking crazy so i guesss its cool
and uh i can't list my addresss as a nrh one cause apparently hurst fuzz will come pick me up
so if i get pulled over i'm just fucked
but then i look at dante
and he points this gun at me
and it says
"dizzy dantes death darts"
or
"dizzzzante$ death tip"
and
i get hit in the face with an orange fucking suction cup
and then we go smoke a cigarette
and life is cool
SO FUCK you
i guess i'm just trying to justify life right now
and i've done a good job
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[11 Apr 2006|10:13am] |
today i went to school
and took a test
and kinda didn't study so we know how that goes
and then i went to see a friend i havn't seen in a long time
and it was strange cause it was so fucking quiet
eventually i got scared and left
not before redrawing that heart in the dirt
i'm out to get a job today
which i'm sure i will
i miss my friends, the way they were two, three years ago
when we were in the van or in ihop or effin 442
god i miss 442 and peter and jeff and even smelly justin and little josh
no ones close to the same now cept pete, i think
i mena at leasst i can still talk to him without wanting to kick him in the balls
sometimes it seems like your life is just flying by, ya know?
like your in a train goin fast
sometimes it bothers you
but right now i couldn't give a shit if i tried
chillins just too good ya know
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